Can the Marriage Bed be
How Risky Is Anal Sex? A Gynecologist Explains
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death" (Proverbs 14:12).
While research suggests anal isn't quite as prevalent as pop culture might suggest—a 2016 study found that just 12.2% of American women had done it within the last three months—there's no question curiosity about the backdoor position has grown.
To find out more, we spoke with ob-gyn Lauren F. Streicher, MD, director of the Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. There are a few risks involved with anal that women need to know, she says.
“Let’s face it, the anus was not made for intercourse. It’s supposed to be a one-way passage,” Dr. Streicher points out. The vagina, on the other hand, “has a thick, elastic, accordion-like lining designed to stretch to accommodate a penis, or a baby.”
Rectal tissue is thinner and doesn’t share the same elasticity, so there’s a greater chance it can tear, says Dr. Streicher, who is the author of Sex Rx. And tearing increases your odds of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.
Rectal gonorrhea, anal chlamydia, and HIV are all real risks. According to the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "anal sex is the highest-risk sexual behavior for HIV infections." But anal sex is perhaps most likely to transmit the human papillomavirus (HPV). “Very few heterosexual men have HIV, but over half of men have HPV,” says Dr. Streicher. HPV can cause anal warts and anal cancer.
What’s more, she points out, you’re probably not going to get screened for anal STIs at your doctor—unless he or she specifically asks if you’re having anal sex (unlikely) or you specifically request those tests.
Then there’s pain, bleeding, and fecal incontinence. “Poop in your pants is not a nice thing to talk about,” says Dr. Streicher. She points to new research from a team at Northwestern University that found that women who considered anal part of their regular bedroom behavior were more likely to say it changed the consistency of their stools, and report both urinary and fecal incontinence.
But if you're interested in trying anal sex, or giving it another whirl with your partner, what's the safest way? Use protection no matter what, says Dr. Streicher. “As a gynecologist, I tell people even if you are in a monogamous relationship, you should always use a condom for anal sex." And if you have vaginal sex after anal, have your partner put on a new condom to protect against the likelihood of a urinary tract infection.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! For those "ministers" who say that we as leaders should stay out of people's bedrooms, you as a leader have a responsibility to save people from not only a Spiritual Death but a possible Physical One too. "Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me?" (John 8:46).
The Defiled Marriage Bed: SODOMY
What Does God Have to Say?
“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). KJV
Many Christians are familiar with the above text and quote it quite often to support their belief that anything goes when it comes to sex in the bedroom as long as the couple is married. But is that really what this scripture means? Many couples feel that they can have anal sex, watch porn, use sex toys, and appease their sexual appetites in all manner of ways without it being offensive to God. Yet, we must ask ourselves the question, can we dishonor God through sex? Can we defile the marriage bed by what we bring into it? What does the Word of God have to say, if anything? But first, let us address a common myth that is floating around, even amongst evangelical groups, regarding speaking on the sexual habits of married couples.
Many Christians, including pastors, believe that they are not supposed to talk about sex. They erroneously feel that pastors are not to involve themselves in speaking on such subjects as long as the couple is in a heterosexual marriage. The problem with this is that the Word of God must be taught on all fronts and not just what people deem as talk worthy points. The Apostle Paul wrote these words to Timothy, “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction” (2 Timothy 4:2). Paul begins this verse by first instructing Timothy to preach the Word. If you notice, he did not say just teach a part of it. He did not tell Timothy to just pick out the verses that he liked. Paul did not tell Timothy to only touch on the subjects that were not offensive to others. He directed Timothy to preach the Word – period. Then, he told him to be prepared to teach the Word in season and out of season. What does this mean? This means that pastors are to always be ready to teach the Word when it’s favorable and when it’s not; when it’s popular and when it’s not. We are to teach when it’s politically correct and when it’s not. We must stand on the Word when it’s a sin of choice and when it’s not. We are never to shy away from subjects just because it happens to knock on the door of some Christians who do not want to hear the TRUTH.
Paul also told Timothy to use the Word to correct, rebuke and encourage patiently and carefully. Because we live in a society where sin is celebrated, we must correct those who embrace it with the Word of God. We must also rebuke those who do not want to listen to the Word of correction that is given. And, we must encourage those who turn away from sin by letting them know that God forgives us after we have repented from sin and rewards His faithful. Therefore, those of us who are in the 5-fold ministry have an obligation to teach the entire Word of God and that includes the bedroom. Any Christian who has a problem with any part of the Word being taught has a problem with God.
Now, let’s address the subject at hand. There are some Christians who take Paul’s words of the “marriage bed being undefiled” to mean that anything is permissible in the bedroom as long as the couple is married. One thing that attention must be brought to is that during Paul’s day, there was no such thing as pornographic movies and books, sex toys, nor were Jewish women having multiple partners where they were gratifying their sexual urges outside of their spouses. As a result, some of what we have taking place today would not have been addressed by Paul because there was no need to. Nevertheless, the Bible has an answer for everything that we encounter, including those things that were not in existence at that time. One of the things that we will address today is the act of Sodomy in the marriage bed.
What is sodomy? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, sodomy is the act of anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite sex as well as sexual intercourse with an animal. The word Sodomy is derived from the city of Sodom that was written about in Genesis 18 and 19. For those who have read these two chapters, we know that the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of its wickedness. Abraham pleaded with the Lord to spare it if he could find at least ten righteous people. Unfortunately, ten righteous people could not be found. As the story goes, those cities were destroyed by fire, but not before the men had a chance to threaten Lot and his family if he did not send out the angels, who were in human male form and were his guests, so that they could sleep with them. Therefore, the word Sodomy is so named because of a sinful city where we know one of their sins was the act of homosexuality, and as one can understand, sex between men takes place through the act of anal and/or oral sex. Now, one may ask, “How would sodomy between a husband and wife be wrong?” Maybe, most Christians have not posed the question that way because when it is put in those terms, the knowledge of it being sinful is obviously there. But for those who have a hard time with this analogy, let’s dig a little bit further.
Genesis 1 lets us know that God created both male and female in His own image. He then blessed them and told them to be fruitful and multiply. In Genesis 2, we find that God saw that there was no suitable helper for Adam, which meant that the animals were not appropriate companions for him to be in a relationship with, so God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep and he took a rib from him and closed his flesh up to create the woman whom Adam called woman because she was taken from him. So, here we have God creating the man and woman in His own image and then, they were commanded to be fruitful and multiply. How were they able to be fruitful and multiply? They did so through the act of sex. We see that in Genesis 4, the Bible says that Adam “knew” his wife, or in some biblical versions, it says that Adam made love to his wife and she conceived. Now, for those who do not know the basics of the birds and the bees, let’s have a quick overview. A man’s penis enters the woman’s vaginal and that is how a baby can be conceived. Outside of a medical procedure, the male sperm has to enter through the woman’s vagina to fertilize her eggs.
LEARN MORE IN THE VIDEO AUDIO…
What is an Emotional Affair?
An Emotional Affair is an affair of the mind, heart, and is non-sexual. These type of affairs often lead to full sexual affairs.
Warning Signs You May Be Having an Emotional Affair
Here are several warning signs that you may be having an emotional affair:
You are withdrawing from your spouse.
You are preoccupied and daydream about your friend more and more.
You are not interested in being intimate with your spouse, either emotionally or sexually.
The amount of time you and your spouse spend together is less.
When confronted about the apparent emotional affair, you respond, "We're just friends."
You find yourself anticipating when you can communicate or be with your friend again. Alone time together is important to you.
You are sharing your thoughts, feelings, and problems with your friend instead of your spouse.
You find reasons to give your friend personal gifts.
Your friend seems to understand you better than your spouse does.
You are keeping your friendship a secret from your spouse.
If you answer "yes" to more than 3 of these questions below, you are courting disaster in your marriage by being in an emotional affair.
Are you experiencing repetitive hostility and conflict in your marriage?
Do you feel an emotional distance from your spouse?
Do you find it difficult to talk with your spouse?
Are you sharing more with your friend than you are with your spouse?
Do you think your friend understands you better than your spouse?
Are you sexually attracted to your friend?
Is the phrase, "We're just friends" your rationalization for your close friendship?
Does your spouse know about your friendship or is your friendship a secret?
Do you look forward to being with your friend more than being with your spouse?
When you talk to your spouse about your day, you never seem to mention your interactions with this friend